Everything happens for a reason...no

For as long as I can remember anytime anyone said the phrase, "everything happens for a reason" I got noticably annoyed. ESPECIALLY when people use it to justify unjustifiable things. " Oh, your husband beats you... well, everything happens for a reason ( SMILES!)" or "Hey! Your friend died, well don't worry about it, he died for a reason."

The biggest problem with the statement is that it assumes that A) Fate exists, along with other fluffy bunnyrabbit concepts, B) That fate and freewill can coexist, which I can't see an logic in explaining. (the closest I've gotten is that life is like a tree and you choose the branches as you go, but there are way to many holes in this... ie. interaction and the human element are missing.) And C)  That there is a relationship between how people react to an event and the reason for the inciting incident ( retroactively)I am a fervent believer that each person on this earth creates his or her own oppurtunities by the way the choose to react to stimuli. This is fundamentally different from stimuli occuring to give people the option to choose the right thing.

The reason why we say things like "everything happens for a reason" is to mask the fact we feel largely out of control in life. It's a cop-out. "oh, well, my best interest is being looked out for by a "reason" so I shouldn't worry."

Why not instead, accept the fact that the reason a thing happened can't be traced to its outcome but only to its causes, evaluate the situation, and then learn from the situation, and use it to help people. there is a saying, "you can't change the hand you are dealt, only how you play it." I love this saying
because it forces us to accept responsibility for our lives.

I short, reasons are purposes for actions. Sometimes actions have no purpose (If I trip on a rock and break my teeth falling on the ground.) So it makes no sense for me to say, well I tripped on that rock so I could learn to be humble.. No, I tripped on that rock because I was skipping and am largely uncoordinated and THEN learned how to be humble because of it. There is a HUGE fundamental difference in these sayings.

It's just something that has bothered me since preschool, so I thought I'd right about it. Instead of letting events be responsible for your life, give yourself the control to take charge and make personal decisions to grow. Don't let someone tell you that "things happen for a reason" before a reason has been realized, because that's proof that there was no reason. Make your own reasons to live.

I'll post again tomorrow,
Josh