Twerking

Recently I was made privy to the likes of hip hop sensation Lady, and her song "Twerk" Here is a link to the Music video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPhYRtK0fBU

 Forget what you may have thought folks, THAT is TALENT. I didn't even realize it was possible to clap your ass cheeks together like flap jacks let alone get 7 women together in the same room who could do it WHILE DOING HAND STANDS. And holy shit! That one lady who was SITTING DOWN and  could raise her right butt cheek with ease! That takes serious coordination and body awareness.

Who knows there made even been a massive subculture of people who devote their lives to "twerking"... It's basically belly dancing for your butt, right?......

Wait, THERE IS!

THE TWERK TEAM has over 100,000 followers on twitter. They are frequented with questions like, "I need to learn how to Twerk now, can someone teach me?"

So, I think I want to join in on this apparent twerking revolution. I'll start by following the twerk team, the I'll watch all of the how to videos. and Within the year, I'll be shakin' dat ass all up on a lady's front bum.

Peace

Bartender

"Hit me up with a lemon squirt mangotini on the rocks with extra Cointreau and some asparagus". was just one of the things that was yelled at me yesterday during my first day as a bartender. I'm really cool so I already knew exactly what this was, I just didnt know where the asparagus was. Everyone knows that asparagus has to be kept at exactly 39.8 degrees Celsius if its to add flavor to a lemon squirt mangotini. It was NOT. This asparagus was sitting sadly, at a 39.4 degrees Celsius. I had to improvise.

I started juggling limes to distract the patron, but this wasn't too his liking . He pulled out pineapples and started juggling them. I knew I had been beat. So I decided to do a back flip. As soon as I did a back flip the rest of the people at the bar clapped, but I couldn't please George, the man with the mustache who so gallantly ordered the Lemon squirt Martini. I was done for. It was all my fault. My first day at the bar, a failure, and all because of asparagus....

Not really.

I mostly just run drinks actually, but I totally wish this is what did happen.

Moving Out

In  a few weeks. I move out of my appartment in Tallahassee into a 3 br 2 ba house. The house has a fireplace, and a back yard. For the first time in my life, I really feel like I'm moving into my own place. It was the first lease I've signed that wasn't also signed by my parents, and I am doing the moving entirely on my own.

There have been some shifts that have occured within my soul in the last few months, most notably, that I feel like a man. It started when I got hired at melting pot, and knew I wouldn't need to ask my parents to help me pay for rent any more. I got the phone called and proceeded to jump around the house screaming. "WHO IS A MAN!!! THIS GUY! I AM A FUCKING MAN!. FUCK YEAH"

Haha, who knew that getting a job would add so much self esteem?

Moving out is another chapter in becoming a man. I havent lived with my parents for 5 years but this is the first time that I feel like I'll be legitimately on my own. It's terribly exciting.

I have a habit of living in filth, but now that I will be moving into yet another new apartment. I won't be living that way any longer. These are my plans for my new place

Live in a neat, and clean appartment,
Learn to shave with a straight razor
Start wearing wife beaters
Do Yoga at least twice a month, preferably once a week.
systematically remove fear and insecurity from my life.

You see I always had this fantasy that sometime in my mid twenties I'd be shaving with a straight razor, wearing a wife beater, and have a six pack underneath that wife beater. It seems that this dream will be realized this year. I'm excited.

I've been removing fear from my life this summer, which has done wonders for my personal growth.

The take away message from this post is this:  Expect the new and improved, neat and tidy Josh who shaves with a straight razor and isn't afraid of jewelry

Toodles,

Josh

YOLO

Today at the gym I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said YOLO because when you live like us you only need to live once. I have nothing against YOLO as a philosophical concept, but I do generally despise the culture it has created. YOLO or "you only live once" should inspire each person to take responsibility for his/her own life and take action to create the greatest life possible, but instead people throw YOLO around as a way to rationalize things away. It's a shame that sayings like this CAN be analyzed in ways that are exact opposites of each other. But it is just how things are now, I suppose. The thing that gets me the most about YOLO is the stigma that the t-shirt expresses. YOU only live once and because of that YOU should live a lifestyle that I deem to be "really living". I just feel like people use YOLO as a way to fit in to a culture rather than a way to empower themselves.

Because of this, I will always prefer "Carpe Diem"- Seize the day! It seems classier because it's in Latin. ha. And for me, it is free of the stigma that there is a "right way" to live and to do things.