I went on a date on Thursday with a really cool girl. We had a picnic, I baked cinnamon rolls and snickerdoodles. We walked through the woods and played some games. It was a nice date. During the course of the date, she sat in a child's swing. You know? The kind that have the over head seat belt. So I started to push her and the swing flipped over. I was pretty terrified she had gotten hurt but instead she hung there vigilantly, flying like super man, off to save someones day.
Obviously I needed to do that. so I got in, snapped myself in and she pushed me. What I didnt take into account was that I am significantly heavier than her, and this seat was designed for people less than a third of my weight. Needless to say, the place where the safety harness plastic seat belt thing hooked in didnt not hold my weight. I fell and off came the over head plastic belt thing. the Belt thing and my throat collided with the force of a hard punch.
First thought, "ow."
Second thought " MY LIFE IS OVER!"
Yes I crushed the hell out of my larynx. My instrument what I have chosen to use to make my career. I was absolutely horrified. In that moment I needed to cry, but was unable to because I knew that THAT would cause even more damage.
For those that don't know me in person. My singing voice is my life. I study Opera currently at Florida State university, and just sang my first role back in May.
As I sat and reflected on the fact that my life was "over" I accepted that that is a real possibility. I let it sink in. I could quite easily lose all willpower to make something of myself if that was the case. I could see myself easily turning to a self destructive means of coping. Though that would be quite easy. I am making a public promise that it will not be the case. Even if I never sing a good note again. I promise to make my life the best story I could possibly write. I won't let it bring me down. Life is not for certain, and this event really humbled me. I am thankful for what I have already accomplished. I feel as if I have lived a full and wholesome life already and I promise to continue to make the most of everything.
Anyway, I went to an Otolaryngologist. It turns out I have bruising on my right vocal fold. this means I really smacked the shit out of my larynx. I may need a Cat scan next week, but that is unlikely. It seems likely that everything will heal fine and I will be able to sing.
But most importantly from this, I learned that in this moment I could respond in any way I wanted, I was tempted to want to seek pity, because its so easy. Convince people that a circumstance ruined my life and give up. But I won't be a person like that. I won't give up. I refuse to live a passionless life. Whether it's singing or something else. Rest assured that I will give all of me to whatever it is I do.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedom—-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."- Viktor Frankl
Obviously I needed to do that. so I got in, snapped myself in and she pushed me. What I didnt take into account was that I am significantly heavier than her, and this seat was designed for people less than a third of my weight. Needless to say, the place where the safety harness plastic seat belt thing hooked in didnt not hold my weight. I fell and off came the over head plastic belt thing. the Belt thing and my throat collided with the force of a hard punch.
First thought, "ow."
Second thought " MY LIFE IS OVER!"
Yes I crushed the hell out of my larynx. My instrument what I have chosen to use to make my career. I was absolutely horrified. In that moment I needed to cry, but was unable to because I knew that THAT would cause even more damage.
For those that don't know me in person. My singing voice is my life. I study Opera currently at Florida State university, and just sang my first role back in May.
As I sat and reflected on the fact that my life was "over" I accepted that that is a real possibility. I let it sink in. I could quite easily lose all willpower to make something of myself if that was the case. I could see myself easily turning to a self destructive means of coping. Though that would be quite easy. I am making a public promise that it will not be the case. Even if I never sing a good note again. I promise to make my life the best story I could possibly write. I won't let it bring me down. Life is not for certain, and this event really humbled me. I am thankful for what I have already accomplished. I feel as if I have lived a full and wholesome life already and I promise to continue to make the most of everything.
Anyway, I went to an Otolaryngologist. It turns out I have bruising on my right vocal fold. this means I really smacked the shit out of my larynx. I may need a Cat scan next week, but that is unlikely. It seems likely that everything will heal fine and I will be able to sing.
But most importantly from this, I learned that in this moment I could respond in any way I wanted, I was tempted to want to seek pity, because its so easy. Convince people that a circumstance ruined my life and give up. But I won't be a person like that. I won't give up. I refuse to live a passionless life. Whether it's singing or something else. Rest assured that I will give all of me to whatever it is I do.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedom—-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."- Viktor Frankl
So did you get a second date with the girl, dude?
ReplyDeleteYes! I did. I cried a bit as I watched my life seemingly disappear which she thought was cute and definitely manly. We're hanging out again this week sometime. I would say Laser tag but that's too expensive so maybe we'll just water color?
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're gonna heal well!
ReplyDeleteAnd best of luck with the lady! Laser tag is a rad follow up date, fyi.